Living in that version of me
I would say
You are not good enough
You are not worthy
You can pretend that you are not what I know you to be
You are a fake and a liar
One day they’ll all see what I do
Looking back on that version of me
I say
I was so stupid to believe those things
If ever you were unworthy, it is now
You let a thousand moments destroy you
There is nothing left for you now
You will never be the beauty you were that you didn’t accept
This is your punishment
I am letting her go
That vague memory of beauty
Uncomfortable in her own skin
Broken into pieces
Still broken
Still beautiful in some ways…
Lelsey,
You are a beautiful human being. Such a patient listener, hilarious, extremely intelligent and creative. I saw the last part of Titanic a couple of days ago and thought of you, how much you look like Kate Winslett, perfect skin, soulful eyes, lovable.
That is what others see in you, I wish you could see that too and BELIEVE IT. Notice yourself when you are looking in your your cute Dave’s eyes or Elsa pups waggin’ tail.
I miss you dear art colleague and friend,
Cathy
ps, I dare you to post this!